''And so I say, you're scared? How do you think I'll feel walking out of these woods on my own!?'' Several of the Jocks, mostly the younger male pilots, chuckled at Harden's joke. Alexa Witt stalked away from the group, her normally comforting features hardened. ''You're a sick fracker, Chuckles.''
Rylan smiled, the memory of the joke and amusement at Witt's anger mingling into a solid feeling of warmth. Arms crossed, he walked over to the gaggle of thigh slapping Sticks.
''What's up with the dress greys?'' A junior, Steen, questioned Rylan as he chewed on a toothpick. The boy reeked of cliche.
Rylan placed his hands in his pockets, leant back on his heels and stared down at himself - as if to see what he was actually wearing.
''Figured I needed a change. Plus,'' he looked down, scratched behind his ear and whispered ''I've misplaced a boot somewhere on my travels. Probably never see that thing again...''
''Probably up Simmons' and Kalam's collective asses, you chewed 'em out hard enough. What did you do with all that mix in the end, anyway?''
Rylan shook his head.
''You - all of it?''
Rylan nodded.
----
Deep in the bowles of a ship, it hatched a plan, a desperate mix of fate and luck that would bring it home - or nothing...
The wind blew, a slow gust of wind pushing through the cavernous corridors of the maintainance deck. A bootlace wriggled in the wind, catching weary eyes...
''Hay Jimmy, give us a sec! A boot... Ell-tee Andreu Rylan. Well it ain't his now!''
----
I wonder how they'll react..., Elena thought, smiling, as the door to the briefing room slid open. They were all there. Harden, of course, in the middle of a laughing crowd. Sometimes a little over the top in his quipping behavior but overall a good leader and a not-so-bad pilot.
She had flown a CAP with everyone of them, so she knew what their skills were like. Believing in the own judgement was a cardinal rule, if one was in a leading position.
Witt had distanced herself from the group around Harden and, while he started narrating another joke, noticed the CAG coming in.
"Attention on Deck!", she called out and all the heads swung around, just before everybody else followed suit and sprung to attention.
Elena got to the front, replying a casual "At ease" while looking them up and down. She spoke out what she knew was being on their minds:
"I bet you don't have any idea why you're here, now have you?"
A grin spread on her face, as the Squadron leaders shook their heads collectively, while the other pilots didn't even dare to do that.
"No punishments or anything like that, I can assure you. That is, if you wouldn't know anything you would deserve to be chastised for."
Rylan just smiled, a lopsided grin. A handful of jocks elbowed each other in the side and traded knowing winks, thinking of their own wanton acts of sin and vice.
"Anyways... You know that the Air Group was originally divided into three squadrons. And you also know that giving precise, live saving orders to 50+ pilots in the middle of battle would be a bitch. Therefore, I decided to divide the Air Group further, with the approval of the XO and the CO, into ten Squadrons. Now, could anybody tell me, how many of us, except for me, are in this room?"
Her lips formed a broad smile, as some of the pilots looked around, counting, while others got already where she was getting to and returned her gaze in amazement or, as at least Harden and McCollough did, approval.
"Congratulations, Ladies and Gentlemen. You can strike the Junior Grades from your ranks. Any questions, so far?"
Some of the hard as nails female pilots suddenly lost their composure and brought their hands up to their mouths, squealing like school girls and shouting into each others ears. The young boys jumped up and down like they had won the championship game, the older male pilots looking on like proud fathers. Andreu's smile changed. The toothy grin faded, his lips coming together, one side of his mouth tightening into a solomn remnant of happyness.
Dime-a-dozen. Twenty five years...
Rylan raised his hand, forcing his old smile on his face, pride stinging behind his eyes. An old voice, undulating tones so sharp and clear it could slip through heart strings, rang in his ears like a quiet song...
----
She sat there, soaking wet from the rain, her hair a deep shade of red and twisted in tangles. He stood a little further away, a heavy weight resting inside of him.
''What about me and Molly, Andreu? Aren't we just as important?''
She looked up at him, only one of her perfect emerald eyes visable to pierce into him. He didn't know what to say, couldn't think of a way out. She looked away,
''One of these days you'll look back - and there'll be nothing there. You'll just have traded everything else in your life for a few seconds of exhilaration in your seat – but you'll be empty. I hope it hurts, when it comes.''
----
''Do we at least still get paid the same?'' He laughed, as did a few of the other pilots still riding the high of the 'good' news.
"Yeah, same payment. But a Captain's wage isn't that much higher, almost not worth all the trouble", she responded, winking.
Though, she looked through his grimace. His eyes gave him away. He was older than most of the crew and had probably, in a way, enjoyed being one of the few Lieutenants aboard. She was aware of the medical comment in his file: 'Fit enough for flying a Viper savely; first signs of aging.' He was in his early fourties and 'only' a Squadron leader, while she was over ten years younger and his superior.
She wouldn't let this point slip but she wouldn't address it in front of everybody else, neither.
"Any other questions?"
Rylan considered spitting at Steen, the cocky son of a bitch always ran his mouth, always trying to be the joker. Right now, Rylan wasn't in the mood. He could have wrapped his hands around the boys neck and drank in the look in the kids eyes as life drifted away from him. He bit back the surge, anger at his impotence against fate, and asked a question of the Ice Queen instead.
''Do we get to choose which pilots we keep and those we get to hand off on the FNGs?''
"Yes, you will, over all, have a free hand. But I want to know who you choose. Lists. Bureaucracy is something we have to deal with. The messier part of your jobs, in my opinion."
Some of them chuckled at her remark.
"Anything else?"
To her surprise, Lieutenant Witt raised her hand. Her mien was serious.
"Not that I'm not thankful but... why me? Why us?"
"I've been... sort of testing all of you during the last week", she responded genuinely. "Had a CAP every day, each time with another one of you. Making sure that you don't fly by book but by heart. Watched you acting around other pilots. Nothing about my choice is random."
Witt nodded slowly, looking at the floor, somewhat more thought- than cheerful.
Elena remained silent for another couple of seconds, giving a chance to ask more questions. But nobody else made a move. So...
"Please hand me your lists until noon. We're shipping out today, people. I don't want the Air Group to be the only part of the crew that's not prepared. Is that clear?"
"Yes, sir!", they shouted in unison. She nodded in approval.
"I'll pass word of the first briefing, once I get informed by the Commander. You're dismissed."
A wave of talk washed over her. Even before standing up, they started their chatter, slowly heading for the exit.
"Mr. Rylan, can I have a word with you?"
''Whats up boss?''
Elena waited until the automated doors had closed behind the lot of them, preventing them from hearing any of their conversation, then gave him a serious look.
"You didn't seem really happy about being one ell-tee among ten instead of three. Now, I don't expect you to plot a coup against me or hold a grudge of any kind but it seems that it's a little hard for you to swallow that somebody who's significantly younger than you is in the superior position. That you've got definitely more experience than me but have to obey to my orders. Honestly: Isn't that at least partially the case?"
''Wouldn't you be at least a little yanked? I worked hard for Lieutenant, hard for Ensign and ell-teen jay-gee twice,'' Rylan bit on the word, ''only for the rank to be handed out on the whim of the CAG? To have the number of people under me sliced into a fraction of what it was, as if I wasn't competant enough for the job? Kinda makes the whole thing seem a bit worthless.''
Shrugging his shoulder, he sighed, regretful of the way he had spoken. ''It's not as if the idea of splitting the squads was a bad idea, its just - froget about it, I'm just being grumpy. And about you as CAG... frack it, I don't have a problem. You seem like a good stick, you aren't a walking regulations manual and you can keep the boys in line when they've been bad puppies. I'll only have a problem if I feel you aren't doing your job, that you don't deserve the position. Seriously, forget about me. I'm a big boy, I can cope.'' Rylan smiled a fake looking grin, his eyes closed and head slightly to the side, accompanied by a peace sign.
"I trust you to be a good pilot and leader. But about 60 Pilots aren't so easy to lead, if you are shot at. And everybody who I promoted to a Squadron leader was a Lieutenant before. You earned it twice, that's right. And that's why there's something I want to tell you in privacy: As far as I'm concerned, you are the next in line for CAG. You're, not only by age, the senior pilot."
''Thankyou; that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.'' He pulled a cigarette packet out of his undone jacket and lit it with a cheap pink disposable lighter. He offered the pack to the CAG.
He said, ''Although, I'm going to be tempted to murder you and take your place now.'' with a mischevious grin spreading across his lips. His face became serious for a moment and he put a finger on his chin, looking deep in thought.
"Trying to kill me with smoke?", she grinned. "No, thank you. I am a non-smoker."
''I have a suggestion to make though: You're a bit distant. By my reckoning there are two ways to lead; through fear or respect. You're taking a third route, hoping that everyone is driven by a sense of duty. You'll have problems with pilots like Nagala, resorting to making him scared of you. If you make the sticks love you, then they won't want to do anything to make you hate them. Come and have a drink in the rec room with us all, get to know us and let us get to know you. I think you could literally make a load of the boys love you.''
A laugh escaped her lips.
"Nice. That's exactly what I want: A whole Air Group of adorers. Or enemies. But as for the distance, I just had a hell a lot to do to get us ready for shipping out. That's over now. At least I hope so... Thanks for the advice, though."
''No problems, Captain. Anything else? I've got plenty of work to ignore.''
"So far, that's all. Feels like today's gonna be busier and messier than the last week. I can already feel that..."